I was sitting on a sunbed
yesterday when my phoned beeped and it was a text from my doctor saying that I
hadn't had my blood pressure measured for 5 years and I needed to make an
appointment with one of the nurses at the surgery to have it checked. This prompted
a few different thoughts. My first instinct was….this
is great, healthcare by text. But then I wondered why the NHS, as
stretched as we are repeatedly told it is (in fact in crisis), was wasting it's
time and money sending me texts while I am on holiday. I suppose my doctor
doesn't know I am away but how many unnecessary texts are being sent each year
and how much is that costing? I say it is a waste but if I drop dead this
week you can all call me an idiot - you probably will anyway.
The other thing is that I
distinctly remember that I have indeed had my blood pressure taken on many
occasions in the last 5 years so why hasn't my doctor got a record of
that? Admittedly the last time was just before Xmas when a good friend of
mine got his own machine out to take the blood pressure of a few people around
the table after having served us a fantastic meal. I think my levels were
OK ish. I probably haven't had my blood
pressure taken in the doctor’s surgery in 5 years because it is that long since
I went to him. In fact, I can't remember what he looks like.
So, it's nice of the NHS to
think of me, probably something to do with being past the 55 mark,
but I am in rude health (touch wood). In fact, sitting by the pool
looking out to sea in Phuket is my own way of keeping the blood pressure down.
Mrs K and I arrived here late
Monday evening after a 20-hour door to door journey. But I'm glad to say it was
relatively stress free.
Our hotel is cut into the
side of a hill in a small bay and our room is up the hill someway. I note that
the gym is in the building next door but then I remember I forgot to pack my
trainers. Will have to skip the gym then. For the trip from the lobby to
our room there are a fleet of buggies just waiting to speed us up the narrow
and windy track. Mrs K has to hold on as we sit on the two backward
facing seats and the driver doesn't spare the horses.
That could be Mrs K's most
adventurous activity this week though I was very interested in brochures for
zip lining, white water rafting and quad bikes. I also suggested maybe we
should hire a motorbike and ride round the island. That increased Mrs K's
stress levels and possibly her blood pressure too though that is one thing she
definitely doesn't suffer with - she won't allow it.
This the view from our room
when we arrive (Monday evening)
In
our room we have a surprise waiting for us.
For a split second I wonder whether Mrs K has something to tell me, but
she is as surprised as me. There is also
a chocolate cake on the table which Mrs K digs into pretty quickly.
It's just a week’s break so
probably an excessive journey for the length of time here but it's the price
you pay to get away from UK weather. Having said that, as I type
(Wednesday 9pm) the rain is lashing down on our balcony.
We just had a dilemma.
Not being able to find the room service menu, do we call for someone to bring
one, knowing that some poor chap will have to run up the hill in monsoon
conditions? Well we thought about it and decided yes
we will. The lad came and walked into our room to where the menu should
have been. Sure enough it wasn’t there.
Did he not believe us? So he left promising to
return. I was wondering why he wasn’t dripping wet but about 10 minutes
later he returned with a menu which was a bit damp. So
we ordered our club sandwiches and the poor guy will have to come up the hill
again.
I am not complaining about
the weather. It has been fine since we arrived despite slightly
dodgy forecasts. My red neck and legs are proof of that. This is
actually our 2nd trip to Phuket. We were here in May 1988. That was
before kids though when we got back to the UK we found out that Jason was on
the way, which explains Mrs K's sickness - we thought it was the food.
Today we went on a trip to
the Phi Phi islands – the location for Bond movies
and Leonardo DiCaprio’s ‘The Beach’, which I haven’t seen. We did go
there in 2013 when we were on holiday with the kids in Krabi on the other side
of the Andaman Sea. We thought it was amazing so decided we should go back for
another look.
We arrive in the hotel
reception for our early morning pick-up but I have forgotten to bring our
ticket so have to make the quick trip back up the hill to the room, leaving our
fellow passengers waiting in the minivan. When I get back I make my
apologies but there is a senior Italian lady (Marta) making a fuss in the
front. Her problem is with the air-conditioning. As the driver
starts to pull away she starts screaming that she is not happy. The poor
driver has no clue what she is complaining about and neither are we but
eventually they agree that they will leave the passenger window slightly
open. That way we all get to breathe in the fumes of the traffic.
Marta’s companion Giuseppe is in the row behind all by himself and is trying
not to look like he is with her. But there is no escaping it because she
continues to talk about the incident at length with him, obviously looking for
sympathy. Giuseppe is tight lipped.
We arrive at the Royal Yacht
Club. Mrs K comments that it is not so royal in her opinion. I have
to agree. Bit more like Hounslow Bus station. Our group is lined up
for the briefing by our tour guide. His name is Beer. He is the only
beer we get on trip due to past problems with vomiting passengers. It is
a short and sweet briefing but Marta wants to know what is in the first aid box
that Beer is carrying. Will it have something in case she gets bitten by
something? (Mrs K understood a bit of the Italian). My question is does
Beer have something in there for people that are sick and tired of deranged
Italians? We pile onto the speedboat. Marta and Giuseppe cause
havoc as they can’t decide where to sit. Giuseppe ends up sitting almost
on top of a young girl, which she doesn’t appreciate. Then Marta spots a
space between Mrs K and I. She makes a beeline for it. Mrs K gives
her a stern “No” so she sheepishly sits down somewhere else. Throughout
the trip Marta shouts instructions across the boat to Giuseppe. He tries
to make out he can’t hear above the noise of the engines but Marta is
persistent. He is forced to wear a scarf (presumably something to do with
his rasping cough) and to stay seated at all times. Marta is the only one
on the boat who keeps her lifejacket on throughout the trip. After
each stage, Beer gives us a reminder of what comes next. Each time Marta
doesn’t understand as she doesn’t speak English but fortunately there is
another Italian couple of the boat. So for each
10 second reminder, we have a translation and then a lengthy Q&A session
during which Marta clarifies each and every item. I am starting to hope
that we can conveniently forget to wait for her when we go snorkelling.
The boat has three 250cc
Honda engines on the back and it bounces across the waves en
route to Phi Phi at about 30 knots. It takes
almost an hour to get there. It is a glorious day with none of the
forecast rain.
We arrive at Maya Beach. Our
boat fights for a place for us to disembark amongst the dozens of other
boats. And that necessarily means that the beach is absolutely packed
with people. I am not sure what everyone is doing apart from just looking at
the melee of people and boats. Everyone gets just 20-30 minutes to soak
it up and then get back on a boat. A pretty pointless exercise. The
Government closes the beach at 4pm so they can send in the daily cleaning
team. And what damage are these hordes doing to this beautiful place?
Fortunately our stop at Maya is very short. From there we
go on to see some monkeys and then to snorkel around the corral. Sadly a lot of the corral was destroyed in the 2004 tsunami
but there are still some amazing fish to be seen. The sea is warm and
clear, and out here I can’t hear Marta’s voice. My favourite part of the
day was being on Bamboo beach after lunch. A remote white sandy beach,
not overly crowded and snoozing in the shade under the trees. This might
be paradise…well if I had a beer perhaps.
So now we are relaxing back
at the room. Our minivan driver gave Marta the slip at the marina and we
saw them arrive back at the hotel in a cab. Not sure whether that was
arranged or not but we had a peaceful drive back.
Our club sandwiches and my
mango and sticky rice were delicious. Even the rain has stopped.
Tomorrow will be a day of
rest after our exertions today. After that the only thing we might do is
go over to Patong Beach to see how much it has
changed since we were there 30 years ago. So
this might be the first and last excerpt. But based on past experience there is
normally more stuff to tell you about.
Stay tuned and thanks for
reading
Part 2
It's our last day (Sunday)
and at breakfast the Sikh wedding ceremony is still going on with saris and
turbans on display. The groom leads a parade of people from the lobby on
an elephant with drums playing and guests bopping. I know that isn't the word
but my Sikh consultant isn't on hand. There is a drone hovering above the
crowd to record the events. A stand has been set up on the beach and I
assume the wedding ceremony will take place down there. The guy who keeps
the beach neat and tidy has had no more than half a dozen customers all week -
now he has a crowd.
We head up to the sanctuary
of the splash pool at the top of the hill which we discovered on Friday. It was an effort to avoid Marta the crazy
Italian lady who has been following us round the hotel it seems. The waiter at the pool is Mrs K’s favourite
and he is becoming mine as he has my Chalawan
beer on ice ready. Well it is way past breakfast. We hear the drums
in the distance in contrast to the jazzy muzak by the
pool.
Normally
my blog gets a read through by Mrs K before it goes out, mainly so she can
check all the photos of herself are of decent quality. This time round she was asleep so I hit the
send button without a check. Next day I
was in trouble for my old man rant about the NHS. Well, what can I say, I am getting on and the
filter is wearing thin.
Our
meal on Thursday night turned out to be a big disappointment. We went to Patong
Beach on the hotel shuttle to have a look round and see how it had changed
since 1988 when we were here last. Back
then we stayed in Holiday Inn which in its day was a top hotel – certainly the
fanciest place we had ever stayed in at the time. Perhaps hard to believe I know. I remember being amazed by the fact that they
had a boy to push the buttons in the lift for you. It wasn’t easy to find a convincingly highly
recommended restaurant near the centre of town but we booked somewhere and went
for it. We were dropped off by the
driver in the centre of town and had to walk through Patong’s
red light district to get to the beach where the restaurant was. The street was packed with people and bars on
either side were belting out their music in competition with each other. If you ever come across a ladyboy and are not
sure, just look at the feet – a real give away.
We didn’t stop anywhere as we were late for our dinner reservation but as
soon as we arrived we knew it wasn’t quite as advertised. I think the 41 consecutive 5
star reviews on TripAdvisor were probably written by the owners. Once we had sat down the heavens opened and
trying to find somewhere else was not an option. So we stuck with
it. Patong has
changed massively in 30 years but not for the better in our opinion.
The
following evening, in an attempt to make up for the disappointment in Patong, we went to the Blue Elephant restaurant in Phuket
town which is located in mansion that used to be the residence of the Governor. We weren’t sure if Phuket still had a
Governor or where he now lives. But we it
looked up and found that a new Governor was appointed last year and he promised
to resolve Phuket’s biggest problems – no. 1 on the list is the shortage of
lifeguards. The Blue Elephant was described
as fine dining on TripAdvisor and was indeed excellent. This is one of the original restaurants
started up by a famous Thai chef called AjarnSrisamonKongphan,
bit of a mouthful. AJ to her friends.
At
breakfast one morning this week, we spotted a large white object on a distant
hilltop and worked out it must be the ‘Big Buddha’. So, on Saturday we organised a taxi to take us
on a short tour of the Wat Chalong Buddhist temple
and the Big Buddha and then on to Kata Beach.
Our man arrived on time and we were soon weaving through the morning
traffic which consists mostly of mopeds, some carrying 3 or 4 people and often
with small children sitting in front of and behind the rider. I wonder how many people are killed on the
roads in Phuket. A lot of the traffic
lights have signs which invite drivers to go on red if safe – this leads to a
free for all at many junctions. I read
that Thailand has the second highest mortality rate due to road accidents (2nd
to Libya according to the World Health Organisation). Last year there were 22,000 deaths in Thailand
compared to less than 2,000 in the UK – the populations are almost the
same. I also read that a few years ago
the Government tried to change to driving on the right instead of the left to
fit in with the rest of Asia (Japan and Australia also drive on the left). It seems that some people are still confused
about what side they should be driving or riding on. We are making sure we belt up and choose
sturdy looking vehicles and thoughts of hiring a moped have long since been
discarded.
At
Wat Chalong, we visit a temple full of buddhas. Apparently it is not
appropriate to have souvenir buddhas in your house. If you visit our downstairs loo you will have
to close your eyes because Mrs K said she is not giving up her buddha. We were also warned not to hug the buddhas –
something that had not occurred to me.
Mrs K is told by a lady carrying out a survey that it is tradition to
put coins into the hands or by the feet of the buddha that represents the day
of the week that was your birth day. Mrs
K had no idea what day she was born on.
Don’t worry the lady would look it up in her calendar and come find
us. On our way back
Mrs K is told she was born on a Sunday and we go in search of the Sunday
buddha. Mrs K rummages around and for some reason finds
some US coins for the Sunday buddha.
Later on I see what is going on here. There is a line of 32 buckets. If you put coins in each one, you will have
32 healthy organs for life.
The
Big Buddha is very impressive. What can
I say – it is big.
We
drive on to Kata where we have a superb lunch at the Boathouse hotel
overlooking a glorious white sandy beach.
This
evening we went into Phuket Old town to see the market. We ate food off stalls and listened to the
performers. A great way to finish our
time here.
Unfortunately the sun has now set on our trip and
we need to brace for a 30C drop in temperature.
Wish us luck on our trip home on Monday.
Thanks
for reading
Jeff